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I Thought I Heard Them Call My Name

by Asher White

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this album is flawless, I love it so much Favorite track: Radiator Fantasy.
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1.
I saw your face carved into every tree I saw in India Point Park Outside this late there are steaming cars that line up in the thermal dark We are briskly pacing through a headache in the cold I see you there And I cannot handle not knowing what's going on after Even though these alleys carved from stone And these buildings rose from earth I see it now, epileptic chickens in the coop Up on the hill, something small and strange is chasing you In the living room, melting down your ego And I cannot handle not knowing what's going on after I get so crazy when I have nothing to say He's looking good between the confines of his hairline, but our minds are tenements we'll never let him into
2.
I was marked with a pointed finger emerging from my skin. Outside Providence, it faded under the sun and the wind, it blows away Back in the curled-up town, formed by indentions of angels Lulled by the heat of the car and the white light of Culver’s: I Thought I Heard Them Call My Name! And its silent letter Before its joined in flame, Some broken glyph. In the heart of Skokie Mall, there are fake bluffs and valleys The artificial holy desert made for skaters and aunties and me And when I stood at his house, he told me the Aleph meant “nothing.”
3.
who has made me? someone careless with their rhythms weather / whether bloodlines furious like anguish in the cluster of her pose or many only comfortable at home right here my legs were built with passion eyes shuttered and dreaming & my belly nicked and kneaded pulling out between the index and the thumb still warping as i run up the hills to step outside is to show off some work in progress left unfinished: i spent a decade & a half certain of the only thing i was missing this isn't new to me when i fold my body into yours in the hopes that i could make the same sound you do as you walk across the concrete and i'm cast in bronze on the golden street or cauterized in the blinding heat of the kiln decorated & suspended in collapse into what i was made from i spent a decade & a half gathering the tools i need to create it
4.
5.
6.
locking your legs into radiators let the words melt like ice in your mouth almost as vivid as the warm kitchen light finding excuses to leave the house what if it doesn't turn out like you thought it would? just not as familiar as you promised yourself raise your first if you've run out of steam delicate hands they are bound in wool we found containers in each of ourselves if your hair keeps pulling you downward, then why don't you just cut it off? what if you don't look as happy as you thought you would? we're filling the days up with our feet on the floor so raise your fist! if you've run out of steam
7.
the first film spliced a galloping horse into 3 disjointed frames and suspended in such clean violence it writhes there in its frame and noah, in your stitches, an uncoiling silver hair plucked from your scalp the joining of these wishes, how you fold them into robes that drape along only your back by now they've built sputtering planes that are gasping past the sun and all the film has been broken down into shiny, stirring dust the picture of your child, he is sunken into what you have become and noah, don't you mind me, it is alchemy like this that i will never understand
8.
Post-war 03:49
9.
10.
my head belongs hot and stuffy in both of your hands your feet deserve to return to the salt and the sand we use our money for fun and our time to create collections of objects serving as calendar dates and this is where i zip my jacket but it doesn't get cold like it used to and as far as they go you can see the roads align and as far i know there is nothing here for (me) i am a ghost and all my jeans have holes in the knees you wear your father's coat and you squint thru the laundry steam and these were my steps, i could hear the laughter but the dogs don't bark here anymore and this year i will know that's no longer and in the melting snow i can see my footprints
11.
New bridge 03:53

about

jewish disorientation, trans angst, body melting, americanness, the home, the homeland, the land, artwork and expressing things with my words and body, i got my ears pierced! i'm gonna do sculptures, i'm in a new place!
also somewhat going "electronic" i suppose, better richer and more interesting production

recorded sep 2018 - jan 2019 in providence, RI and evanston, IL

credits

released January 22, 2019

all songs written, recorded, performed, mixed, etc. by asher

Track 8 contains samples of "4 8 9 M (Opus40m)" by Anthony Braxton from the album Five Pieces, courtesy of Arista Records (1975)
and "Heart and Soul" by Betty Carter from the album Betty Carter, courtesy of Bet-Car Productions (1970)

Cover art by Noah Briata, Adrian Ocone, and Asher White.

special thanks to noah briata, lauren collins, ralph davis, cat love, adrian ocone, ariana padovano, brant rosen, annie umbanhowar, andy white + shari joffe.

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Asher White Providence, Rhode Island

new shoes. birthday is feb 21 2000

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