1. |
Drove-thru
02:23
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woke up
mind refracted into 100 shades of glass
deep breath
but i cant rest till i get up off my ass
it seems if i don't use it then i'll lose it all for good
she says
"you keep on proving yourself longer than you should"
slow poke
i run faster than the other kids my age
wrote a play about my life but froze up on the stage
i lost track of my intentions, now my aim is fucked
so when i'm tracking your attention i just can't shut up
but i'm allowed to feel this way
i don't trust myself enough!
to believe the things i say
& i'm not getting any younger
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2. |
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i'm not moving
i'll learn to enjoy this feeling (paralyzed)
& even if the wind comes around
to sweep up the town
& pull the earth down
my feet are on the ground
i'm never going back to that place
floating in space
where i watched the stars streak by my frozen face
& maybe if i try to erase
the pictures encased in cages
graced the pages blank
& i don't trust the ground littered w/ holes
& i'll sprain my ankle losing my footing again
& i can't relax
i found my footprints where i haven't read
chasing the hours that still crawl ahead
i always struggled w/ staying still
well this is good practice
i'm forever tethered till i rot away
if i try to recall
the hours i've stalled
watching a clock i knew i'd broken long ago
& i can hide but i can't run
& it accumulates
spot will form & it's too late
& all i do is wait
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3. |
Morning hair (revisited)
01:30
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4. |
Character flaw
04:13
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i am endearing & fun
if i practice ahead of time
maybe this once could you just enjoy the night?
i am a magazine page
& i need your attention
the cover is coated w/ ink but the worlds are all empty
& i've been praying we don't work out
& you don't care cause you're swept by clouds
& i've been tryna weight my feet down:
we're waiting on the lake to freeze over
found a piece of my brain
by the rocks by the lake
& in the alley that day
i could drown in your gaze
i am a paper airplane
& i'm swept by the gust of your voice
i fall apart in the sand
i'm destroyed by a choice
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5. |
I. Fresh Air
06:15
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train stop is wrestled to the ground & pinned down by the heat
the air's unruly as it threatens to crush the fragile street
train arrives later than expected
i board but it's too late
my head has swollen but it's empty
train stops, my head deflates
i can't believe the world around me
outside i feel you near
i'm wondering if our glance means something
you smile, it looks sincere
i'm wrapped up in a gauze that suffocates me
you give me fresh air
i'm waiting but i'm so impatient for the days sparked by somewhere
i feel my body in these clothes
my stomach's full of sand
& i've spent hours walking watching water embracing the land
i'm floating high above the city smog
i watch my summer crawl
at last the heat wave passes & the cool air brings me down so i can be again
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6. |
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7. |
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2 days before your note i walk home crying & stumble through my day
& as of late i keep on trying to sort through all i say
but i can wait
take my time
i'll be great
we'll be fine
when i'm alone i keep pretending you're watching what i do
& when i'm out it's neverending
like i'll run into you
& all of our antics
have now become frantic
"go in"
held my chin
but let go too fast & tore away my head
& it was late
but still too early to close my eyes in bed
& i laugh loud
but there's no sound
i get so tense when it gets hot
i found the stove
i left it on
the water's boiling in the pot
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8. |
Light leans
01:48
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the sky hung himself low today
it snowed but nothing stuck
light leans + i stay awake and challenge all the threats
that the sun burns in my wall
& i feel something waning as i pass
& i'm waiting for my last (when it's late)
& i'm praying for the past
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9. |
Ginger candy
03:53
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it's not a soundtrack when i hear it like that
it's real space in my hand
if i could get the rocks to float from the bottom of the lake
we'd count all of the colors
& when you said
it felt like chewing on molasses
all i could think
was ginger candy that we bought
& when you said
"this is why they call it falling"
i've never done that, not without a safety net
it wrenches my teeth out
but i need it to calm
the spinning in my head
& you cut me off because you finish it yourself
& i never slipped before
as if the ground had shifted
& i'll keep chasing more
as if you've drifted
& i feel something waning as i pass
& i'm waiting for my last (when it's late)
& i'm praying for the past
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10. |
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11. |
What you think
03:30
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& i care about what you think!
& i care about what you think & all
i talk so loud that i go deaf.
& i care about what you say!
& i care about what you say & all
i know my lines i wrote the film.
& i care about what you see
& i care about what you see of me
i stepped out
to zoom back in
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Asher White Providence, Rhode Island
new shoes. birthday is feb 21 2000
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