Asher White Grows Up & Still Has Fun

by Asher White

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1.
02:23
2.
3.
4.
5.
06:15
6.
7.
8.
01:48
9.
03:53
10.
11.

about

as it turns out adolescence (and also the rest of life i imagine) is actually pretty consistently riddled with anxiety and that i still had baggage to unpack (if not an accumulating pile) even after 1.5 exercises in mopey self-indulgence
i also figured: why not pin down / commit to / expand on all the musical ideas thatve whisked thru my head over the past year? and so thus here lies what feels like my most successful or satisfying attempt at incorporating all the sounds and concepts i've wanted to explore for a while (a lot of these tracks are fleshed out iphone voice memos ive made). to do this required more time, more energy, and a few more hands playing a few more instruments. i gathered (& stole) what i needed and the result is an album that hopefully feels grander, lusher, more confident, and a lot more interesting. fingers crossed.
here it is. the culmination of some nasty lingering dread, panic, love, confusion, etc etc etc. cool. thanks everyone.
xo
aw

credits

released December 9, 2016

All songs written, performed, & recorded at home by Asher White from July - December 2016.

Track 5 incorporates elements from "Wolves" by Kanye West.

Asher White: vocals, upright piano, electric / acoustic guitars, banjo, noise, nausea, real + fake instruments*, string + horn arrangements, drums + aux. percussion, synths, glockenspiel, autoharp, melodica, field recordings, big + little sounds

Hyohee Kim: violin (5)

Seth A. Bearman: trumpet (6, 11)

Tanner Swinand: piano (11)

Special thanks: Sam Bailey, Pepto-Bismol, "Mr. Brown", Jesse Bond, Caleb Collins, Lauren Collins, Zoria Kamholtz-Roberts, Celia Nicolson, Skyler Neilson-Sorenson, Tim Peterson, Noah Roth, staying hydrated!!, Bill Simos, rooms w/ mildew, Annie Tsingas, Annie Umbanhowar, Vogue Fabrics, rogue magic

*thanks for the real live accordion tim!

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about

Asher White Chicago, Illinois

even weirder is when you certain sounds can evoke experiences or emotions or moods & that's my goal. teenage altoid eater & noise spitter & paint dribbler & laugher. i just want to create infinite worlds of sound

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Track Name: Drove-thru
woke up
mind refracted into 100 shades of glass
deep breath
but i cant rest till i get up off my ass
it seems if i don't use it then i'll lose it all for good
she says
"you keep on proving yourself longer than you should"
slow poke
i run faster than the other kids my age
wrote a play about my life but froze up on the stage
i lost track of my intentions, now my aim is fucked
so when i'm tracking your attention i just can't shut up
but i'm allowed to feel this way
i don't trust myself enough!
to believe the things i say
& i'm not getting any younger
Track Name: # of days without accident
i'm not moving
i'll learn to enjoy this feeling (paralyzed)
& even if the wind comes around
to sweep up the town
& pull the earth down
my feet are on the ground
i'm never going back to that place
floating in space
where i watched the stars streak by my frozen face
& maybe if i try to erase
the pictures encased in cages
graced the pages blank

& i don't trust the ground littered w/ holes
& i'll sprain my ankle losing my footing again
& i can't relax
i found my footprints where i haven't read
chasing the hours that still crawl ahead

i always struggled w/ staying still
well this is good practice
i'm forever tethered till i rot away
if i try to recall
the hours i've stalled
watching a clock i knew i'd broken long ago

& i can hide but i can't run
& it accumulates
spot will form & it's too late
& all i do is wait
Track Name: Character flaw
i am endearing & fun
if i practice ahead of time
maybe this once could you just enjoy the night?
i am a magazine page
& i need your attention
the cover is coated w/ ink but the worlds are all empty

& i've been praying we don't work out
& you don't care cause you're swept by clouds
& i've been tryna weight my feet down:
we're waiting on the lake to freeze over

found a piece of my brain
by the rocks by the lake
& in the alley that day
i could drown in your gaze

i am a paper airplane
& i'm swept by the gust of your voice
i fall apart in the sand
i'm destroyed by a choice
Track Name: I. Fresh Air
train stop is wrestled to the ground & pinned down by the heat
the air's unruly as it threatens to crush the fragile street
train arrives later than expected
i board but it's too late
my head has swollen but it's empty
train stops, my head deflates

i can't believe the world around me
outside i feel you near
i'm wondering if our glance means something
you smile, it looks sincere
i'm wrapped up in a gauze that suffocates me
you give me fresh air
i'm waiting but i'm so impatient for the days sparked by somewhere

i feel my body in these clothes
my stomach's full of sand
& i've spent hours walking watching water embracing the land

i'm floating high above the city smog
i watch my summer crawl
at last the heat wave passes & the cool air brings me down so i can be again
Track Name: III. Note (& the Rapid-Fire Succession of Events Immediately Preceding Its Delivery)
2 days before your note i walk home crying & stumble through my day
& as of late i keep on trying to sort through all i say

but i can wait
take my time
i'll be great
we'll be fine

when i'm alone i keep pretending you're watching what i do
& when i'm out it's neverending
like i'll run into you

& all of our antics
have now become frantic

"go in"
held my chin
but let go too fast & tore away my head
& it was late
but still too early to close my eyes in bed
& i laugh loud
but there's no sound
i get so tense when it gets hot
i found the stove
i left it on
the water's boiling in the pot
Track Name: Light leans
the sky hung himself low today
it snowed but nothing stuck

light leans + i stay awake and challenge all the threats
that the sun burns in my wall

& i feel something waning as i pass
& i'm waiting for my last (when it's late)
& i'm praying for the past
Track Name: Ginger candy
it's not a soundtrack when i hear it like that
it's real space in my hand
if i could get the rocks to float from the bottom of the lake
we'd count all of the colors

& when you said
it felt like chewing on molasses
all i could think
was ginger candy that we bought
& when you said
"this is why they call it falling"
i've never done that, not without a safety net

it wrenches my teeth out
but i need it to calm
the spinning in my head
& you cut me off because you finish it yourself

& i never slipped before
as if the ground had shifted
& i'll keep chasing more
as if you've drifted

& i feel something waning as i pass
& i'm waiting for my last (when it's late)
& i'm praying for the past
Track Name: What you think
& i care about what you think!
& i care about what you think & all
i talk so loud that i go deaf.

& i care about what you say!
& i care about what you say & all
i know my lines i wrote the film.

& i care about what you see
& i care about what you see of me
i stepped out
to zoom back in