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A Home in the Country

by Asher White

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an-uh-lee-suh
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an-uh-lee-suh gooey-dreamy; worn-hem bittersweet; I truly cannot get over this brilliant, gorgeous album; catch me evangelizing on a stereo near you Favorite track: Kite Flyer (Lucky Cloud).
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1.
Porch Scene 01:59
2.
it’s funny you should say that, i was just about to ask when the next train was coming man they always seem to pass when i look closely enough i can see the dew evaporating returning to what it was only once illuminating i don’t drive, i’m waiting for my ride to take me: some pink air, dark grass / “darkgrass”, lucky cloud coming fast some rough hair, some damp air, blinking light i’ll get there sun shimmer down, smudge feet lucky cloud on my street
3.
Puget Sound 03:11
now what good will walking do me when i cannot rise from this soft, familiar frame? and i travel through indifferent doorways that the pines did not intend listen to this offer. i’m only nervous about the whispers in the sand that snake beneath me, they want me to be different than i am the sky splintered through the mountains like draining a glacier, up posing / opposing their insides before my pulse syncs up with the spiraling waves i am counting every beat in time listen to my voice; it’s been getting stronger i’ve been listening to the birds that fly above me, they’ve been hearing every word now i do not know this breathing unwillfully mine, it is strange and not yet named
4.
i am draped in fabric to deny the body i was given, misdesigned / ms. design i pace back and forth i’m self-confined trace along my waistline, wasting time live forever in the ground tollund woman safe & sound across the ravine, cicadas crying out rises steam, clouds of silence but i’m still waiting! it is always aching what i can’t see shrink under / my skin folds atrophy i keep getting gifts i don’t deserve buried under all i have, self-preserved
5.
Redesign 02:08
6.
bright streaks / streets just like an arrow just like a finger choosing us again light beam all straight and narrow just like a pharoah choosing us & them lucky cloud raining only holy water raining / reigning over holy ground raining / reigning over children found, buried there lucky cloud raining on the darkened alleys and the festivals of light and the rich and darkened cups of wine new kite, to the sun just like an arrow cutting through the waves of heat pulling tattered string uptight, buried there when we come don’t remember what we said
7.
baby coming over in the morning time when the light through the blinds is dripping down the window they got it covered but it’s never “just fine” when we think to ourselves “what happened to the daylight” we stumble on some differént moonlit fold of earth and sleep there i’m coming over running out of our time when i pull my shirt over my clean hair watch my body wave my fingers: i’m not half as drunk as i thought yeah i know in heaven everything will be fine so i keep my eyes closed and my head clear i’ve got your good things baby and you’ve got mine so let’s call it a deal and just stay here i check the temperature: am i alright am i alright is it just me? i like your teeth and i like when they laugh and i watch them grow / roll back it’s a different kind of funny pull my breath right through my fingers: i’m sure this is good as it gets
8.
9.
Girl Talk 02:07
i’m the type of girl who brandishing a canny smile and threatening to stay a while i know just where to lunge at, through basement walls and pavement cracks and missing breakfast, extra snacks i’m the type of girl who’s stitching skin and twisting voice and careful not to make a choice i know just what you’re thinking delegated qualifier with regulations i admire i’ll chase after all my thoughts: i could use a little exercise i’ll deal with it on my own, i don’t need another pair of eyes i’m the type of girl who, nails snipped off and hair arranged i swear to god i’ll never change if you promise not to ask me i’m only here to decorate the garbage world that you created are you scared? cause im just getting started i guess i just don’t know when to stop i just bought this lipstick at target, if you like it i’d be glad to swap
10.
Lucky cloud 02:16
11.
no way we can’t all fit behind that door they say it won’t be open anymore they all convene here through the different colored lines and in between them different psalms all intertwined up in the golden sky no family above you where the streets all look like veins, and the city is still breathing you better get home if your family still loves you blocking congress parkway with the blistering and young sure beats thinking about death in the shower every night just wait, you gotta see this: it gets scary when we stay inside just wait for it to be here, don’t get ready buddy just sit tight! just wait
12.
Dirt 03:33
push your pinkened fingers into folds where flies are lying where paint is crying off the last tears of new on the concrete stairs where i feel your hands wear into your pockets dapple through i’ m wound too loose i could see the rain divide the blistering and young the bloated and the free and all the towels that we hung the highway’s spent dakota won spice-box earth, come get your bags hair to cut through, & keep with boiling rags always running, cheered on by the worms not surrendered, only unconcerned while i am away leaning baffled in the dirt tongue pulled out to dry, eyes defending hurt your fingers on my neck and my spine curled in its sack finally the outside matches with the back encrusted herbs all dried till black
13.
let’s slow down we’re stirring up the silt that was once beneath our feet, now it swirls around our waist / &wastes curling into broken rip-ups / ribbons trailing off a party like / light this could be good for us if i could pull your breath right from your fingertips to hang s carves around my neck hundred finger candles waving / waiting &you dip yourself outside under waxy canopy lets slow dance just before it ends, or maybe this is now real life: starting when the song is ending in your car, and i leave to wash the lake water from my burning skin

about

a shifting concept of "home" in tandem w/ a shifting concept of "country", or a realization of the both of those things, or what they mean to me? i'm not even sure enough on a personal level. these songs are about privilege and responsibility and gender and expectation and memories.
and the way i understand my life relative to other lives.

recorded march 2018 - september 2018 in evanston, IL

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released October 12, 2018

all songs written, recorded, performed, mixed, etc. by asher

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Asher White Providence, Rhode Island

new shoes. birthday is feb 21 2000

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