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Asher White Sells Herself & Buys The World

by Asher White

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1.
it's scary to be carefree & it scares me when u dare me to speak honestly & i've made you cry more times this week than i've cried in my life it's rarely that i carry all this to you & i barely let you stare me down the whole way through & i always Miss the Good Old Days so overcome w/ doubt but you don't want to talk to me & my words don't come out & "I'l try to keep my head down" & "I can't stop believing myself now"
2.
do i want do i want toast with jam or do i want to curl into your basement and fold up like laundry that lazy ass lazy ass forgot to fold you never do anything right anymore! had i not stepped so far outside to feel saliva curdle would've counted the sounds that left my burning throat i thought though i saw corners of your mouth the sleight of hand that broke the eyeline so i traced down the folds & alleys through the backstreets of your spine to explore the twisting pathways & to fill myself w/ night lost & found found the nerve nervous just to reach & feel the dew cold between fever fingers shaking limbs to hear hear your voice here & later when i have the choice to scroll through all my memories in the warmth of your arms i can feel my blood is traveling & i get pulled along where i must watch my own head explain what it means to fall in love again i just want to feel like you do
3.
4.
i swam too deep silver waters in your eyes and i didn't see the tides i slept too late to catch up on missing hours from last year and to keep myself from being here (and if that's not loving me...) i can't stop tugging when the threads start to unravel you stay safe but i will travel i listen close i watched circles in your eyes cut my hair to sever ties i want to follow i want to see you
5.
Robin 02:33
the robin on the skylight its umber belly charred by the crystals in the twilight the backyard so much & two weeks later when the porcelain castle faded & in its place a murky whine that all my friends hated so bold to me you are fun for me i'm up till sunrise watching sitcoms to keep my aching mind from reaching towards my stomach to keep the smell of car behind i tie my shoes together just before i go out like i could run away from myself anyway i could've caught the sunrise watched the dogwalkers stumble & let my lungs suck in the lake instead my body crumbles
6.
7.
New Years 05:51
tan plays piano like the cluster snowflakes in the warm winter he melts the sickness & on new year's we just want to feel ok from her perch bailey remains without pull effortless and kind she makes the branches better all i can do is clutch at the raw arms in the dark & when i try to join she laughs all of my friends are trapped in ascent with the ceiling right in front all of it i want i want to stay right here where the streetlights look like years cold chicken skin laughing in my basement getting dizzy from the pacing but open the locked case i wanted so bad to misplace i tried to keep myself from chasing i find myself drumming for you maybe just to show i put effort into something i miss the worst days of last year when only blankets hid my bones but now the aching light has switched us doomed from the start the ice has melted now to reveal only mud this is the part where i get all i want but i've lost so much blood
8.
with the darkness like this removing pieces of your face replacing them with rain pulling moisture from the space carbo-loading in my bathroom as the springtime starts to sweat your foreboding hints of laughter are the best that i can get my voice catches in my mouth could you use yours to get it out? could you start from the beginning? explore every single route to your house shining through a gauzy veil the sun clears folds & creases in your fuzzy jacket billowed, filled my room with your scent i want to chase it through the summer watch the angles of your face tilt along with all your musings on the time that we would waste hands around me just like fireworks thinning out the air i am with my newborn friends i am wishing you were here the sinews of the path untangled patching up the spots i had looked for so long keeping track of all my thoughts
9.
10.
(the man is allowed to choose what he likes, the woman is allowed to choose what she likes) you built a safe space for women but my shoulders too broad to fit through the door and even if i stayed for a minute it's colder than the eyes i felt right before (the woman is allowed to choose what he likes) i'm so fucking patient in the stalls so i don't have to talk back or watch your eyes dart and i don't shave what you don't like all of pubes grow from my heart (everybody's free, you can do what you like my friend) i gotta lose this body
11.
shuddered driving home after laughter & an ice cream cake for 5 couldn't lose the taste no matter how fast we drove through the longest ride even when i walk my body stays the same pretend that i could even briefly leave this frame let me be fair bet i'll be there instead i stay enclosed recheck snapchat just to trick my sense of time save my memories just to show you how i ground myself in flight your lips were close enough for me to see the snot my temples pressed against the inside of my thoughts plan my memories! i plan my memories! dingy public basement games you scrolled through crushes & asked me if i'm obsessed & i just felt so lame & i was led through aching futures in my chest the night air smelled like smoke tried to find meaning on the backseat of your bike as if the coming summer broke & with it shattered everything i think i like
12.
Mature 04:08
you are so mature i can never learn i am as strong as you wish i were when i bit your finger window opened i find you sunlit without words and i love you i could grow away from you i thought so much but never knew you don't have to try so hard like that anymore that stuff doesn't happen anymore this will mean too much for you to know anyway you don't have to try so hard like that anymore

about

1 yr later from the debut marks the final installment in the weird self-indulgent series of often clammy basement pop. its been a really bizarre thing.

this one musically encompasses everything ive touched on i think. recorded considerably disgruntled and confused. sometimes shiny, never slick, but i had fun pretending i knew what i was doing. and check out some of those drum hits.

other notes:
- this follow whati am interested in & like in a very liberating and potentially masturbatory way
- this has a "you" in every song
- take it easy

do not kno where 2 go from here , i'll be honest.

credits

released May 6, 2017

all songs written, arranged, recorded, mixed, etc. in basement & bedroom by asher white from dec 2016 - may 2017.

THOUGH i owe a great deal of credit to the brilliant minds i haphazardly borrowed from:

Track 2 is loosely based on Nico's version of "These Days" by Jackson Browne (1967) from the album Chelsea Girl, courtesy of Verve (1967)

Track 4 includes a sample of "Little Green Apples" by The Temptations (originally by Bobby Russell, Columbia Records (1968)) from the album Puzzle People, courtesy of Gordy Records (1969)

Track 10 features a sample of "That's Why I Choose You" by Ladysmith Black Mambazo from the album Inala, courtesy of Shanachie (1986)

Asher White - finger claps, shouts, yelps, accordion, etc. (all tracks)

Hyohee Kim - violin (tracks 2, 11)

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about

Asher White Providence, Rhode Island

new shoes. birthday is feb 21 2000

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